The Irishman's 'ungrateful' horse - President Lincoln's Story about condensed food

President Abraham Lincoln, while eager that the Union troops should be supplied with the most modern and serviceable weapons, was an exceedingly practical man, and when an invention, idea or discovery was submitted to him, his first step was to ascertain how any or all of them could be applied in a way to be of benefit to the army. However, he had little patience for wasting time on what he called "contrivances" - ideas that couldn't be put to practical use.

Unfortunately, some of his generals had a mania for experimenting with any and all ideas, regardless of their practicality.

As Lincoln once put it:

“Some of these generals experiment so long and so much with newfangled, fancy notions that when they are finally brought to a head they are useless. Either the time to use them has gone by, or the machine, when put in operation, kills more than it cures.

"One of these generals, who has a scheme for ‘condensing’ rations, is willing to swear his life away that his idea, when carried to perfection, will reduce the cost of feeding the Union troops to almost nothing, while the soldiers themselves will get so fat that they’ll ‘bust out’ of their uniforms. He reminds me of an Irishman—a cabman—who had a notion that he could induce his horse to live entirely on shavings. The latter he could get for nothing, while corn and oats were pretty high-priced. So he daily lessened the amount of food to the horse, substituting shavings for the corn and oats abstracted, so that the horse wouldn’t know his rations were being cut down.

“However, just as he had achieved success in his experiment, and the horse had been taught to live without other food than shavings, the ungrateful animal ‘up and died,’ and he had to buy another.

“So far as this general referred to is concerned, I’m afraid the soldiers will all be dead at the time when his experiment is demonstrated as thoroughly successful.”

As it turns out, Lincoln's summary was right. (See [**] below.)

This was another tale from Abe Lincoln, storyteller.

Mac

Works Cited

[**] That general's "idea" was actually a very brilliant one - just way ahead of his time. "Condensed" food has been a staple of the armed service units in the field since W.W.II. Today, they're called Meals Ready to Eat (MREs).

[1] McClure, Alexander K. (1901). Lincoln's Yarns and Stories. Chicago, IL: The John C. Winston Company.