Much has been written about Abraham Lincoln’s religious beliefs—at once earnest and elusive. During the Civil War, a visiting minister remarked, “I hope the Lord is on our side.” Lincoln famously replied:
“I am not at all concerned about that… But it is my constant anxiety and prayer that I and this nation should be on the Lord’s side.” [1]
Lincoln's moral compass pointed upward, but his sense of humor often aimed sideways. Though he quoted Scripture in letters and speeches, he had little patience for “hellfire and brimstone” preachers or self-important religious performers. When it came to hypocrisy in the pulpit, a thread of frontier sarcasm ran through him.
Historian Michael Burlingame unearthed a favorite Lincoln tale from his Springfield days—a revival meeting story full of righteous chaos and comedic timing.
As people were taking down their tents at the end of a camp meeting, a little wizened-face man ascended the log steps of the pulpit, and clasping his small hands, and rolling his weak eyes upward, squealed out, ‘Brethern and sisters!’”
Because he presented such a striking contrast to the last speaker, the assembled people paused to look with wonder upon him.
Encouraged by their attention, he resumed:
“I rise to orate [speak] to you on the subject of the baptismal – yes THE baptismal!”
He cleared his throat and resumed,
“There was Noah, he had three sons – namlie Shadadarack, Meshisck, and Bellteezer! They all went in to the Daniel’s den, and likewise with them was a lion!”
Observing that his audience had resumed their work, the old fellow adopted a new tack:
“Dear perishing friends, ef you will not hear me on this great subject, I will only say this, that Squire Nobbs has recently lost a little bay mare with a flaxy mane and tail – amen!” [1]
“Religion by Dummies” or a lost wanted ad?
Only God knows.
This is another anecdote from Abe Lincoln, Storyteller.
Mac
Works Cited
[1] Carpenter, F.B. (1866). Six Months at the White House. p. 282. Retrieved 7-20-2025.
[2] Burlingame, Michael. (2008). Abraham Lincoln: A Life - Volume One. Baltimore, MD: The Johns Hopkins University Press. p. 41.
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