Squirrel or louse? An Abe Lincoln story

When Abraham Lincoln was a young state legislator, he was not a very confident speaker in front of his colleagues in the Illinois General Assembly. As a result, he turned to storytelling to ease his nervousness and help make his point clear. It was not long before the Whig and Democrat lawmakers realized that whenever Lincoln rose to speak, there was bound to be a story and a chuckle.

During his second term in the state legislature, Lincoln was in a floor debate with a fellow legislator over a point in a bill on bonds Lincoln had introduced. His opponent, Alfred Kitchell, a Democrat from Wabash County, stood up to reply to Lincoln's proposal.

Kitchell decided to steal some of Lincoln's story-telling fame with a story of his own. 

Using Lincoln's famous opening, Kitchell said his colleague reminded him of a man who drank brandy until he had at attack of delirium tremens and was supposed to be dying. 

A physician was sent for, and, after trying several remedies without relief, he finally suggested that the patient should be given some brandy. At the mention of brandy the drunken man revived at once, and said, “Brandy, yes, brandy; brandy is the thing; give me some brandy.”

 And so it was with Mr. Lincoln, Kitchell finished. The state already had been ruined by the bond issue advocated by Lincoln, and still Lincoln was crying for more: "As the drunkard cried for 'more brandy', so Mr. Lincoln cried for 'more bonds.'" [1]

Challenged to reply in kind. Lincoln stood. Kitchell was known for his large, bushy eyebrows and his tendency to make a big deal out of unimportant problems. Lincoln decided to use those peculiar characteristics in his response.

Mister Speaker, the attack of the member from Wabash on the constitutionality of this measure reminds me of an ol' friend-a-mine. He's a peculiar looking old fellow,with shaggy, overhanging eyebrows and a pair of spectacles under them.

One morning after the old man got up, he imagined on lookin' out his door, that he saw a rather lively squirrel on a tree near his house. So he took down his rifle and fired at the squirrel, but the critter made no attention to the shot. He loaded and fired ag'in and ag'in. After the thirteenth shot, he set down his gun impatiently, and said to his boy, who was looking on. "Boy, there's something wrong 'bout this rifle."

"Rifle's all right, I know 'tis," replied the boy, "but whar's your squirrel?"

"Don't you see him, humped up 'bout halfway up the tree?"inquired the old man, peeping over his spectacles, and getting mystified.

"No, I don't," responded the boy, and then turning and looking into his father's face, he exclaimed, "I see your squirrel! You been firing at a louse on your eyebrow!"[2]

Lincoln then claimed that his opponent had been doing the same thing arguing about his bill. The story - told only as Mr. Lincoln could tell such a story - created much laughter, and the bill was passed.

That day, Alfred Kitchell learned the hard way that, although Lincoln was just a young legislator, he was a master at the art of story-telling. 

This is another anecdote from Abe Lincoln, Storyteller.

Mac

Works Cited

[1] This exchange took place on February 26, 1841, and was reported in the Sangamo Journal on March 5, 1841. See “Debate in Illinois Legislature Concerning Sale of State Bonds” (February 15, 1841) and “Remarks in Illinois Legislature Concerning a Bill for Completion of the Illinois and Michigan Canal” (February 24, 1841), in Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, 1:238, 243–44. See Burlingame, Abraham Lincoln: A Life, 1:164–65.

[2] Leidner, Gordon (2015) Lincoln's Gift: How humor shaped Lincoln's Life and Legacy. Naperville, IL: Cumberland House. pp. 32-33.