'Bass-Ackwards' - An Abe Lincoln spoonerism story

This is the original “spoonerism” story in Lincoln’s hand
(Seth Keller, Inc.)

Abraham Lincoln loved words and wordplay. 

Among his collected papers at the Lincoln Library is this odd text, written in his handwriting. It's a unique - and somewhat ribald - tale that strings together a series of “spoonerisms” - a type of wordplay in which the author transposes the first letter in two or more words for humorous effect. 

Lincoln titled it, "Bass-Ackwards". (Try to decipher it. The answer key is located below the Works Cited section

He said he was riding bass-ackwards on a jass-ack, through a patton-cotch, on a pair of baddle-sags, stuffed full of binger-gred, when the animal steered at a scump, and the lirrup-steather broke, and throwed him in the forner of the kence and broke his pishing-fole. He said he would not have minded it much, but fell right in a great tow-curd; in fact, he said it give him right smart sick of fitness—he had the molera-corbus pretty bad– He said, about bray dake he come to himself, ran home, seized up a stick of wood and split the axe to make a light, rushed into the house, and found the door sick abed, and his wife standing open–But thank goodness she is getting right hat and farty again– [1]

While the term 'spoonerisms' was coined in the late 1800s or early 1900s, this and other forms of wordplay were quite popular in the early 19th century. This fad was especially prevalent among medical students in London, who referred to it as 'Medical Greek' or 'Hospital Greek'. [2]

Since Lincoln loved telling stories - both g-rated and otherwise, it appears that he decided to see if he could write a short, humorous story using this mixed-up wordplay as part of the tale.

Jesse Weik, one of Lincoln’s early biographers, stated that Lincoln gave this particular tale to a Springfield (Illinois) court official at the conclusion of a trial. It was later donated to the State of Illinois for Lincoln's papers. [3]

Another small window into Abraham Lincoln, Storyteller — a man who could move a nation with a sentence, and still amuse himself by turning language completely bass‑ackwards.

Mac

🎩 Enjoy puzzles like this? Here's a real head-scratcher that unexpectedly landed in President Lincoln's lap. Read: President Abraham Lincoln’s Constitutional Puzzle: Can Secession From Secession Equal Admission?

Or if you enjoy brain challengers, here's a post that will challenge you to understand the mind of the guy with the goofy hat. Abe Lincoln the Dialectic: A Mind Forged in Contradiction

 📚 Works Cited

[1] Hertz. Emanuel (1940). The Hidden Lincoln (New York: Blue Ribbon Books, 1940), p. 400.

[2] McGregor, William B. (2015). Linguistics: An Introduction, 2nd ed. London: Bloomsbury. p. 428.

[3] Weik, Jesse (1891). Abraham Lincoln: The True Story of a Great Life - 2 vols. New York, NY: D. Appleton Publisher.

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He said he was riding bass-ackwards [ass-backwards] on a jass-ack [jackass], through a patton-cotch [cotton-patch], on a pair of baddle-sags [saddle-bags], stuffed full of binger-gred [ginger-bread], when the animal steered at a scump [scared at a stump], and the lirrup-steather [stirrup-leather] broke, and throwed him in the forner of the kence [corner of the fence] and broke his pishing-fole [fishing-pole].

He said he would not have minded it much, but fell right in a great tow-curd [cow-turd]; in fact, he said it give him right smart sick of fitness [fit of sickness]—he had the molera-corbus [cholera-morbus] pretty bad–

He said, about bray dake [day break] he come to himself, ran home, seized up a stick of wood and split the axe [seized the axe and split a stick of wood] to make a light, rushed into the house, and found the door sick abed, and his wife standing open [wife sick abed/door standing open]– But thank goodness she is getting right hat and farty [fat and hearty] again–”