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| (A.I. generated image of Abraham Lincoln) |
During the explosive multi-candidate [there were four] presidential campaign of 1860, Abraham Lincoln adhered to a strict rule: no formal political speeches. But that didn’t mean he was staying quiet.
On September 29, Northern Democratic candidate Stephen A. Douglas delivered a fiery speech in Louisville, Kentucky, attacking his Southern rival, John C. Breckinridge, and blaming him for splitting the Democratic Party. Douglas also accused Southern Democrats of being disunionists.
Lincoln took notice. In a brief satirical one-act play, he imagined a conversation between Douglas and Breckinridge—turning Douglas’s own arguments against him and exposing the contradictions in his campaign.
It reveals a different side of Lincoln: not the grave statesman, but the quick-witted political satirist. Lincoln’s jeu d’esprit—a French term for a witty play of the mind—was never intended for publication. It was for his own private amusement, a compact example of his political humor.
Here is Lincoln’s satirical dialogue, with spelling and punctuation lightly regularized for readability.
Imaginary Dialogue Between Stephen A. Douglas and John C. Breckenridge
Louisville, Ky — Sep. 29. 1860
DOUG. — Well, you have succeeded in breaking up the Democratic party.
BRECK. — Certainly, for the time being, the party is under a cloud, to say the least; but why you should say I did it, I do not comprehend.
DOUG. — Perhaps I should charge it to your supporters, rather than to you.
BRECK. — The blame, as I conceive, is neither upon my friends or me.
DO
UG. — They insisted on having a platform upon which I could not stand. BRECK. — Aye, and you insisted on having a platform upon which they could not stand.
DOUG. — But mine was the true Democratic platform.
BRECK. — That presents the exact point in dispute; my friends insist that theirs is the true Democratic platform.
DO
UG. — Let us argue it, then. BRECK. — I conceive that argument is exhausted
; you certainly could advance nothing new, and I know not that I could. There is, however, a collateral point, upon which I would like the exchange of a few words. DOUG. — What is it?
BRECK. — It is this: We insisted on Congressional protection of Slave property in the national territories; and you broke with us professedly because of this.
DOUG. — Exactly so; I insisted upon non-intervention.
BRECK. — And yet you are forming coalitions, wherever you can, with Bell, who is for this very congressional protection of slavery—for the very thing which you pretend drove you from us—for Bell, with all his Know-Nothingism, and anti-democracy of every sort.
DOUG. — Bell is a good Union-man; and you, and your friends, are a set of disunionists.
BRECK. — Bah! You have known us long, and intimately; why did you never denounce us as disunionists, till since our refusal to support you for the Presidency? Why have you neve
r warned the North against our disunion schemes, till since the Charleston and Baltimore sessions of the National convention? Will you answer , Senator Douglas? DOUG. — The condition of my throat will not permit me to carry this
conversation any furthe r.
The Genius of the Punchline
What makes Lincoln’s skit so effective is its timing. Douglas spends the exchange defending his own political consistency while Breckinridge exposes the contradiction: Douglas broke with Southern Democrats over their demand for congressional protection of slavery in the territories, yet he was willing to form alliances with John Bell, who supported that very protection. Douglas then brands Breckinridge and his supporters disunionists—a charge Breckinridge points out Douglas had not made until they refused to support his presidential campaign.
And then comes the punchline:
“The condition of my throat will not permit me to carry this conversation any further.”
Douglas’s voice really had been strained by the grueling campaign. Lincoln’s joke, however, is not that Douglas had a sore throat. It is that, when cornered by his own contradictions, Douglas suddenly finds a reason to stop talking.
The Storyteller's Takeaway
In this brief exchange, Lincoln turned Douglas’s own words against him. The joke works because it exposes a familiar political habit: when a politician is cornered by contradictions, suddenly there’s a reason to stop talking.
This is another example of Lincoln’s sharp satirical wit from the archives of Abraham Lincoln, Storyteller.
Mac
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Works Cited
Basler, Roy P., ed. The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln. Vol. 4. New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press, 1953, pp. 124–125.
Lincoln, Abraham. "Imaginary Dialogue Between Stephen A. Douglas and John C. Breckenridge." September 29, 1860. In The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, edited by Roy P. Basler, 4:124–125. New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University Press, 1953.
Nicolay, John G., and John Hay, eds. Abraham Lincoln: Complete Works. Vol. 6. New York: Century Co., 1894.
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Imaginary Dialogue Between Stephen A. Douglas and John C. Breckenridge, Louisville, Ky--- Sep. 29. 1860
Meeting & Dialogue of Douglas & Breckenridge---
DOUG--- Well, you have succeeded in breaking up the Democratic party.
BRECK--- Certainly, for the time being, the party is under a cloud, to say the least; but why you should say I did it, I do not comprehend.
DOUG--- Perhaps I should charge it to your supporters, rather than to you.
BRECK--- The blame, as I conceive, is neither upon my friends or me.
DOUG--- They insisted on having a plat-form, upon which I could not stand.
BRECK--- Aye, and you insisted on having a platform upon which they could not stand.
DOUG--- But mine was the true Democratic platform.
BRECK--- That presents the exact point in dispute; my friends insist that theirs is the true Democratic platform.
DOUG--- Let us argue it, then.
BRECK--- I conceive that argument is exhausted; you certainly could advance nothing new, and I know not that I could. There is, however, a colatteral point, upon which I would like the exchange of a few words.
DOUG--- What is it? description
PAGE 124
BRECK--- It is this: We insisted on Congressional protection of Slave property in the national teritories; and you broke with us professedly because of this.
DOUG--- Exactly so; I insisted upon non-intervention.
BRECK--- And yet you are forming coalitions, wherever you can, with Bell, who is for this very congressional protection of slavery---for the very thing which you pretend, drove you from us--- for Bell, with all his Know-Nothingism, and anti-democracy of every sort.
DOUG--- Bell is a good Union-man; and you, and your friends, are a set of disunionists.
BRECK--- Bah! You have known us long, and intimately; why did you never denounce us as disunionists, till since our refusal to support you for the Presidency? Why have you never warned the North against our disunion schemes, till since the Charleston and Baltimore sessions of the National convention? Will you answer, Senator Douglas?
DOUG--- The condition of my throat will not permit me to carry this conversation any further.
Annotation: [1] Lincoln's jeu d'esprit [means a witty remark or light‑hearted display of cleverness, especially in literature, originating from French for “play of the mind/spirit.”], written in pencil, was probably suggested by Douglas' speech at Louisville, September 29, in which Douglas made the points included in Lincoln's imaginary dialogue.